Scribed In Light

I look around some days, and I can’t help but feel we live in a world that worships self.

• Self-care.
• Self-love.
• Self-worth.
• Self- actualization.

Now don’t get me wrong – there’s a sacred place for healing, boundaries, and self-respect. But somewhere along the way, our compass spun sideways. “Taking care of me” became the only priority and in doing so, we stopped looking outward.

We stopped asking how our choices might impact others.

We stopped accounting for the trail left behind.

A majority has been raised to chase whatever makes them happy – with no considerations of who it affects. They praise the pursuit of dreams without guiding the cost. Do what makes you happy” has been championed without finishing the sentence – “…so long as it doesn’t destroy the people who love you.” They’ve made self-expression a banner but forgot to teach self-restraint. They have elevated feelings above wisdom, and teach children to follow their hearts – even when their hearts are wildly misinformed, underdeveloped, or selfish.

Personal freedom has become confused with personal license, and is projecting the concept – “Your happiness matters most.” Yet, failing to teach them: “Others live downstream from your decisions.”

Here’s the quiet truth nobody shouts: Self-fulfillment built on collateral damage never holds up.

History, psychology, and lived experience affirm it:

• Affairs justified as “following the heart” often implode under guilt, broken families, and children forced to carry the emotional shrapnel.
• Corporate greed masked as ambition leads to environmental collapse, worker exploitation, and public distrust – eventually causing the fall of empires that once “had it all”.
• Parenting choices rooted in self-preservation-like walking away from responsibility for “personal growth” – leave children emotionally fractured and longing for security they never received.
• Chasing pleasure at the cost of commitments leads to cycles of addiction, loneliness, and regret.
• Even leaders who silence truth for power-disguising it as “vision”-find that the trust they burned can never be rebuilt.

Because fulfillment that sacrifices others is counterfeit. It gratifies in the moment…yet rots from the inside out.

We want comfort.

We want freedom.

We want peace.

But we want it without the weight of considering others- without the responsibility of ripple effects.

So…

• We walk away from commitments we once called sacred.
• We make decisions in the dark and call them justified.
• We avoid accountability and call it Self Preservation”.
• We label ourselves the victim of every fallout we helped create.

But the truth always arrives, even if it takes decades.

I have always believed this, and I have raised my children to live by it:

Actions speak louder than words.

Because actions don’t lie. They expose the heart. They weigh heavier than promises, and they track truer than explanations.

People often defend their choices by saying, ” I didn’t mean for that to happen,” or “I never saw it turning out this way”. But the truth is this: intentions do not erase impact. Every choice carries weight – and every action sends a ripple, sometimes a tidal wave, of consequences – both seen and unseen.

When the rubber meets the road – and it always does -it’s usually not in our twenties or thirties. We arrive in the later chapters of life carrying the weight of our earlier choices. Here’s what no one warns you about:

• You can’t buy back time.
• You can’t build deep roots overnight.
• You can’t fake a fulfilled life when there’s no fruit to show for it.

We don’t get to stay in the earlier chapters of life – unless tragedy rewrites the ending. When we grow older, it won’t be the selfies, the wins, or the “me first” moments that bring us peace.

It will be:

• The quality of our relationships.
• Who stands beside us when we have nothing left to give.
• The strength of our character when the spotlight has moved on.

So maybe, it’s time we stop chasing what’s “best for me”, and start asking what builds something bigger than me.

ASK YOURSELF:

• Who am I becoming through this decision?
• Who might be affected – even years from now?
• Am I building something that will carry me…or just feeding my now?

Because a life lived solely for self may just leave you stranded, lonely, and heart-hungry by the end.

No matter what the mouth says, our actions will always tell our truth. So pause and look inward…

What painting would stretch across your life’s canvas?

What portrait would be reflected back at you?

Would you recognize the person you thought you were?

Do your daily choices whisper love and purpose – or echo a pattern of putting self above all else?

• Above your children’s emotional grounding.
• Above your spouse’s quiet needs.
• Above your friendships that required watering.
• Above the people whose lives were shaped by your presence, or your absence.

Perhaps most telling of all…

What would others say your life valued most after watching the way you chose to live it?

Let your life echo more than your wants -let it echo your worth.

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." - Philippians 2:3

A leaving thought to ponder:

If someone traced the map of your life by your actions – not your words – what would they believe you valued most? What would they say you were building?

May our days reflect humility, not hunger.

May our choices lift others, not just ourselves.

May the echo of our lives speak louder than any self-fulfilling whisper ever could.

Love, light, and grace –

Tina N. Campbell | Scribed In Light