Scribed In Light

Grief is a silent earthquake. It shakes the foundations of everything once known, leaving behind a landscape that no longer feels like home. The air is heavier. Time moves strangely – sometimes too fast, sometimes agonizingly slow. In the midst of it all, the heart aches with questions that have no answers.

For those who grieve, the world has been rewritten. Life has become divided into before and after. For those who love the ones grieving – it can be hard to know what to do, what to say, how to help.

Grief is both deeply personal and profoundly isolating. But it does not have to be carried alone.

This is a guide – for the grieving and for those who stand beside them. A way to navigate the weight of loss with compassion, wisdom, and love.

the unseen weight of grief

Grief is more than sadness. It is a thousand emotions colliding at once – pain, anger, regret, guilt, longing, exhaustion.

For many, grief is also a battle of “what-ifs.”

• what if I had done something differently?
• What if I had seen the signs sooner?
• What if I had fought harder, known more, protected better?

Though grief is cruel in hindsight – it offers clarity that was never available in the moment. It forces people to judge themselves against an impossible standard- one they never had access to before.

The truth? We do the best we can with what we know at the time. And that, is all anyone can do.

To those who grieve: Your love was enough. You were enough…and you still are.

for the grieving: giving yourself permission to feel

Grief does not follow a timeline. It does not move in a straight line. It is a tide – ebbing, flowing, pulling back, rushing in. Some days, it will feel gentle. Other days, it will knock you breathless.

The world may tell you to be strong. But strength is not in suppression. It is in allowing yourself to feel.

• Cry if you need to.
• Speak your loved one’s name without hesitation.
• Write them letters, whisper to the wind, hold their memory close.
• Find safe spaces where you can unravel without judgement.
• Know that healing does not mean forgetting.
• Most importantly: Know you are not alone.

ways to process and release grief

• journaling – Write letters to your lost loved one. Speak the words you wish you could say.
• Therapy & Support Groups – There is power in being witnessed by those who understand.
• Creative expression – Art, music, poetry, – sometimes grief needs a different language to be spoken.
• Physical Release – Walking, running, dancing, movement – because the body carries what the heart cannot always speak.
• Memorial Rituals – Planting a tree, lighting a candle, carrying a keepsake – ways to honor without drowning in sorrow.

Healing doesn’t mean the love is gone. It simply means the love has found a way to live differently.

for those who love the ones grieving: how to truly be there

Loving someone through grief is sacred, but it can also feel uncertain. What do you say? What if you say the wrong thing? How do you help without overwhelming?

Here’s the truth: You don’t have to fix anything. You just have to be there. Remain present.

What Helps:

• presence over words. Sometimes, no words are needed. Just sit with them, hold space, let them feel.
• Validation. Instead of “You’ll be okay,” say, “I know this hurts. I am here.”
• Gentle check-ins. Grief doesn’t vanish after a funeral. it doesn’t vanish after a week. It doesn’t vanish after several months. Keep showing up.
• Help in practical ways. Cook a meal, help with tasks, offer quiet acts of love.
• Respect their process. It is different for every individual. Let them grieve in their own way, not the way others expect them to grieve.

What to Avoid:

• “At least” … statements. (e.g., “At least the are now in a better place.” “At least they are no longer suffering.”) It minimizes pain to avoid this.
• Forcing them to “move on.” Healing is not a race.
• Filling in silence with advice. Sometimes, the best comfort is simply listening. Sometimes, it is simple silence with presence.

Your job is not to take their grief away – it is to walk beside them through it. Embracing them along their journey.

holding grief and love together

Something I learned with the loss of my mother a year ago, is that grief is not the loss of love, but rather – Grief is love that has lost its place…it’s sense of direction. Grief is love that has nowhere to go.

But love is creative. It finds ways to keep flowing, to keep living.

• speak their name. Keep their memory present.
• Tell their stories. Laugh at the moments that once brought joy.
• Find ways to honor them – not through sorrow, but through love.

Grief may never fully leave, but it will change. Over time, it will become something softer, more bearable.

And in that space, love will continue to shine.

a prayer for grieving

Lord, for those whose hearts are heavy, bring them comfort.

For those who carry grief, bring them peace.

For those who walk beside the brokenhearted, bring them wisdom.

May your presence be a refuge,

Your love be a light,

And Your Grace be enough for each new day.

Amen.

For my daughter Alyssa, and son Greg – who recently lost their baby boy – my grandson, Jude.

For my friend Danielle – who recently lost her father – my dearest friend, Ron:

“Grief has carved its mark, but love remains. Grief, is loves echo – wherever love was deep, grief will follow. But love does not end; it transforms, it lingers, it carries us forward. It is not just sorrow. It is the evidence of profound love that continues in a new way. As you each find your new way…know my love for you carries you close to heart, and forever in my prayers.“

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18

May LOVE be your anchor, FAITH be your light, and may you always find COMFORT in the arms of grace. You are not alone – love carries you forward.

In love, remembrance, and a heart that holds you close,

Tina