Scribed In Light

In life, we often believe we see things clearly. We interpret others’ words , actions- or even their silence- through the lens of our own experiences. We take in what we witness, filtering it through what we know, what we lived, what we’ve felt.

And yet, what if much of what we think we know…isn’t truth at all?

What if our perception of others- their intentions, their emotions, their responses – is not a reflection of them, but rather a reflection of ourselves?

the false certainty of our own perception

It is a humbling thing to realize that our understanding of people is often built upon assumptions, not reality.

We feel justified in our beliefs about others – their distance, their choices, their priorities. We create entire narratives in our minds, convinced we see the full picture. But in truth, we are only ever seeing fragments – a fraction of the whole canvas.

More often that not, our understanding is not objective truth but rather a subjective perception shaped by our own life experiences. Every joy, every wound, every past betrayal, every moment of love, loss, or disappointment has colored the way we interpret the present.

We react to people not as they are, but as they seem to be through the lens of our own journey.

This can be a sobering realization. It is easy to feel certain about our judgements – until life places us on the other side of the veil, revealing that what we once stood upon as rock-solid truth…was never truth at all.

When Assumptions Become a Stumbling Block

I know this struggle firsthand.

For years, I wrestled with pain over a core relationship in my life. This individual rarely engaged with our family. Whenever we were together, our time was warm, rich, full of love. Yet in the spaces between, there was silence. No outreach, no ongoing connection unless we carved the time ourselves.

Over time my heart began to shift and I noted it had hardened towards the circumstances. I convinced myself that perhaps this individual didn’t value time with us as we did with them. Perhaps they felt obligated, not eager, for our visits. Perhaps… they simply didn’t carry us as a priority in their life – didn’t care as much as we did.

Those thoughts festered. They shaped my feelings, my beliefs, my heart. My ego whispered bitter conclusions, and I let them take root.

And I was so very wrong.

I found out too late that this person was battling demons of their own- burdens I knew nothing about.

They were drowning in the pressures of their own life. Exhausted beyond measure. Weighted down by expectations, by the endless demands of life that left them running on empty.

They were silently battling wounds – unhealed trauma from their past – which triggered debilitating memories and emotions to the point, that it overwhelmed them to emotional paralysis.

What I had perceived as disinterest had been so far from the truth. I had built a reality in my mind that was anything but real. I had allowed my own assumptions to shape my beliefs, to construct a false understanding. In doing so, I had not only misjudged this person- I had misled myself.

Now, I’d love to share with you that this was the only time I have ever shown such injustice. I would be lying. I thought back on countless circumstances where I very likely misinterpreted relationships…individuals. It truly broke me…humbled me…changed me.

How Many Times Have We Been Wrong?

This experience shattered me. Not just because I had misunderstood one so vital to me, but too I realized how often I had possibly done this before.

How many times had I misjudged relationships?

How many times had I filled in the blanks with my own assumptions?

How many times had I let my own wounds, or experiences, shape my perception of others?

How many times had I been so sure I was right – when quite possibly I had been blind to the truth of their own personal reality?

Worse still, how often had I vented my frustrations to others, influencing their perception of a situation that I myself hadn’t fully understood?

This is the weight of unchecked perception. It does not just impact us – it impacts others. When we allow our assumptions to shape our reality, we don’t just mislead ourselves; we risk misleading those around us.

The freedom of letting go

The truth is, we are often our own stumbling blocks.

When we find ourselves filled with frustration, judgement, discord, or brokenness, it is worth asking:

• Am I seeing the whole picture?
• Or am I reacting from my own wounds, my own past, my own unresolved pain?

The reality is that much of what triggers us in others is actually a mirror – reflecting something within us that needs refining, healing, surrendering.

We are so quick to analyze others. To expect things from them. To feel entitled to their words, their effort, their time.

But how often do we look inward?

How often do we recognize that we are the ones shaping our own suffering – through the lens we refuse to question?

The sooner we let go of these false perceptions, the sooner we allow people to simply be. To exist outside the weight of our expectations. To be seen for who they truly are – not as we assume them to be.

And in doing so, we grant ourselves a freedom we never knew we needed.

The profound truth is this: the liberation from my own self- imposed misunderstandings led me to a place of self-awareness, humility, and healing grace. I pray that, in some way, my willingness to share these vulnerabilities encourages you to reflect on your own perceptions – to step beyond the veil of assumption and into the light of deeper understanding and grace.

I share this not just as a lesson I’ve learned, but as an invitation – an opportunity for all of us to pause and ask ourselves where in our own lives have we assumed rather than understood…built beliefs about circumstances or others without knowing the full truth…possibly allowed our own life experiences, or past wounds to shape our perceptions and beliefs regarding circumstances or others?

May we all continue to seek truth with open hearts, knowing that freedom is often found in the surrendering of what we thought we knew.

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until faced.” – James Baldwin

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” – John 8:32

In truth and grace,

Tina