―Tina N. Campbell | Scribed in Light

There are parents out here doing emotional damage on a Tuesday afternoon and acting shocked when their grown kids don’t come running home for Sunday dinner.

Let’s talk about it.
Because some of y’all (yes—moms AND dads) are out here behaving like toddlers in adult bodies and calling it “love.”

No names.
No stories.
Just the universal pattern a whole generation is finally healing from —
and Scripture has a lot to say about it too.

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The Parents Acting Like the Kids They Had

You ever meet a parent who throws more tantrums than the five-year-old?

Screaming.
Cussing.
Belittling.
Raging.
Hanging up the phone like they’re auditioning for a soap opera.

Then pulling out the classic:

“Why don’t you ever call me?”

Ma’am.
Sir.
Because calling you feels like stepping on a Lego barefoot at 3 a.m.
That’s why.

Scripture literally warns against this behavior:

“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.” (James 1:19)
God said “slow to anger,” not “detonate on sight.”

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Welcome to the Guilt Trip Olympics

Some parents put in YEARS of practice for this event.

They’ve got:

gold in manipulation
silver in self-victimizing
bronze in emotional blackmail
and a lifetime achievement award in:
“Guess I’ll just sit here alone since nobody loves me.”

Kids aren’t ignoring you.
They’re protecting themselves.

And before anyone argues Scripture to justify guilt trips…
here’s what God actually says about parenting:

“Do not provoke your children to anger.” (Ephesians 6:4)
Provoking = guilt, shame, emotional whiplash.

So if guilt is your parenting style?
It’s not “righteous conviction.”
It’s disobedience.

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Parentification: When You Raised a Child Just to Make Them Your Therapist

If your kid had to:

comfort your emotions
fix your crises
carry your insecurities
parent you
walk on eggshells
or apologize for your behavior

Congratulations.
You didn’t raise a child.
You created an emotional service human.

And Scripture is crystal clear about this dynamic, too:

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18)
If your child grew up with sword wounds instead of healing?
That’s not godly parenting.

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A Word for the Dads Who Think a Paycheck Makes Them Fathers

This might sting, but truth does that:

Money isn’t parenting.
Silence isn’t support.
Grunting at your kid isn’t bonding.
Fear is not respect.

If your children tense up when you walk in the room, that’s not discipline —
that’s trauma.

God didn’t call men to intimidate.
He called them to build up.

“Encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live worthy lives.” (1 Thessalonians 2:11–12)
That’s the biblical picture of a father.

Not “you’ll respect me because I said so.”

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And the Moms Who Weaponize the “I’m Your Mother” Badge

If you use your title to excuse:

cruelty
manipulation
shaming
blame-shifting
explosive reactions
or emotional blackmail

you’re not mothering.
You’re spiraling.

God defines love like this:

“Love is patient, love is kind… it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered.” (1 Corinthians 13:4–5)

If your parenting doesn’t sound like that?
It’s not biblical — no matter how often you say “But I’m your mother.”

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Step-Parents, Come Get This Truth Too

DNA does NOT give you an exclusive license to be toxic.

If you walked into a child’s life and offered steadiness, protection, and real love?
You’re family.

“If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” — Mother Teresa

Not manipulate it.
Not compete with children.
Not weaponize your role.

Love them.

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If You Feel Called Out… Maybe Pick Up

Before you get offended and start crafting an Oscar-worthy meltdown:

Ask yourself the only question that matters:

Do I want a relationship with my child…
or do I want control of them?

Because you cannot have both.

If these words sting?
Sit with it.
Let it teach you something.
You can change.
You can grow.
You can apologize.
You can start acting like the parent you should’ve been.

But accountability?
That’s step one.

And Jesus Himself said this about harming kids:

“Whoever causes one of these little ones to stumble, it would be better for them to have a millstone tied to their neck and be thrown into the sea.” (Matthew 18:6)

That’s how seriously God sees this.

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To the Cycle-Breakers Raising Kids with the Love They Never Got

You are out here parenting with tenderness you had to learn on your own.
Building homes without chaos.
Offering safety you never received.

You are not weak.
You are healed.
And healing?
It’s loud.
It’s brave.
It’s generational.

You didn’t break the cycle by accident.
You broke it because you said, “Not in my house.”

Your kids will grow up knowing what love actually feels like —
because you did the work your parents never did.

Jesus said:

“By their fruit you will know them.” (Matthew 7:16)
And Y’all… your fruit is showing.
And it’s good.

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Blood might make you related, but it doesn’t make you family.
Family is built by the ones who choose love without wounding, loyalty without manipulation, and presence without pain.
You can love someone and still refuse to let them wreck your peace.
Walking away is not betrayal —
it’s survival, and it’s protection for every child who comes after you.

And never forget this:
A parent’s words don’t disappear.
They echo. They become the children’s inner voice—even carrying into their adulthood.
So choose your healing like the next generation’s inner voice depends on it —
because it does.

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So… if you grew up without the love, safety, or steadiness you deserved, I see you.
And if you’re out here breaking cycles, choosing peace, protecting your heart, and giving your babies a better story than the one you were handed… I’m cheering you on with both hands in the air.

Healing is messy.
Boundaries are brave.
And refusing to let someone wreck your peace isn’t disrespect — it’s survival.

know too…You’re not alone in this.

Love, Hugs & Grace,

—Tina N. Campbell | Scribed in Light