Scribed In Light

I want to address trauma today, acknowledging its various forms. Trauma can take many shapes, each with its own lasting effects on both the body and mind. These include:

1. Physical Trauma: This encompasses accidents, injuries, physical abuse, and any other physical harm that leaves enduring effects on the body and the mind.
2. Emotional and Psychological Trauma: Emotional abuse, loss of a loved one, or any experience that deeply impacts a person’s mental health and well-being.
3. Developmental Trauma: Trauma experienced during childhood or critical developmental stages that profoundly influence a person’s long-term emotional and psychological state.
4. Historical or Collective Trauma: Trauma experienced by entire communities or societies, often passed down through generations (e.g., systemic racism, war, displacement).
5. Complex Trauma: This refers to repeated or prolonged exposure to trauma, often in childhood, which can disrupt a person’s sense of self, relationships, and daily functioning.

Trauma can manifest differently for each individual yet often shares common effects. Many people carry trauma without even realizing its presence in their lives. The side effects can span emotional, mental, and physical responses.

Emotional and Mental Effects of Trauma:

• Anxiety and Hypervigilance—trauma survivors may constantly feel on edge, as if they are in imminent danger, even when no immediate threat is present.
• Depression and Sadness—The aftermath of trauma can lead to a prolonged feeling of sadness, hopelessness, or numbness.
• Guilt and Shame—Many feel guilty over things beyond their control during the trauma, or they may feel ashamed of how it has impacted them.
• Flashbacks and Intrusive Thoughts—Trauma survivors may experience vivid memories or flashbacks of the traumatic event, even when they’re not consciously thinking about it.
• Survivors Guilt—Especially common in situations when others have been more severely affected or passed away, questioning why they survived while others didn’t.
• Loss of Trust—Trauma can significantly damage a person’s ability to trust others or even themselves, making it difficult to form relationships.
• Difficulty with Emotional Regulation: People may experience mood swings, irritability, or trouble managing feelings like anger, fear, or sadness.

Behavioral and Physical Effects of Trauma:

• Avoidance of Triggers—Survivors may avoid situations, places, or people that remind them of the trauma. This could include avoiding conversations or memories tied to the event.
• Substance Abuse or Self-Harm—Some turn to alcohol, drugs, or other harmful behaviors to numb or cope with the emotional pain of trauma.
• Sleep Disturbances—Many survivors experience insomnia, nightmares, or disrupted sleep patterns due to anxiety or stress related to trauma.
• Physical Health Issues—Chronic pain, headaches, gastrointestinal problems, and other physical ailments are common. Trauma can manifest physically when the mind cannot release its emotional burden.
• Difficulty Concentrating or Memory Issues—A lack of focus, forgetfulness, or difficulty in processing new information can be linked to trauma, particularly when it impacts mental health.

Interpersonal Effects of Trauma:

• Strained Relationships—Trauma can create difficulties in connecting with others, leading to feelings of isolation or withdrawal from family, friends, and partners.

• Difficulty with Intimacy— Both emotional or physical trauma can affect one’s ability to trust in intimate relationships, creating barriers to closeness.
• People-Pleasing or People-Avoidance—Some trauma survivors may go to great lengths to please others as a way of seeking validation or avoiding conflict, while others may withdraw entirely, avoiding social interactions.

When trauma remains unresolved, it often creates a cycle where feelings of shame are triggered and reinforced, deepening our sense of self-doubt and low self-esteem. Trauma doesn’t only affect the body or mind; it seeps into the soul, leaving emotional scars that last. Victims don’t just experience the pain of the event; they internalize it. The scars foster the belief that they are unworthy of love, respect, or healing. Trauma, in this way, turns victims into perpetrators of their own emotional suffering, reinforcing feelings of shame. This shame doesn’t simply derail one’s sense of self-worth; it distorts it—shaping the victim’s identity to reflect the trauma itself, making them feel unworthy and broken.

But the effects don’t stop at the individual. Society plays a role in amplifying trauma-induced shame. Cultural expectations and stigmas surrounding trauma add to the weight of shame. For example, in societies where silence around abuse is common, survivors are often left to bear the burden alone. Rather than offering compassion and understanding, society tends to blame the victim, adding another layer to the shame they already carry.

In many cultures, there is an unwritten rule that trauma must be hidden. Survivors are expected to move on quickly or “get over it”, but this only deepens the shame. Society, through its judgment and lack of support, views trauma through a lens of blame—questioning what the victim could have done differently.

Whether it’s the stigma surrounding mental health, the normalization of abuse, or societal expectations of perfection, trauma survivors often internalize the belief that their pain is a reflection of personal failure rather than a result of external harm

Shame often serves as a protective mask, concealing deeper emotions such as grief, anger, or fear. It functions as a defense mechanism that shields individuals from confronting the more vulnerable emotions buried underneath. Yet, by keeping these emotions hidden, we prolong the healing process. These buried emotions remain masked by a sense of inadequacy, preventing the release and healing that could otherwise take place.

Many trauma survivors come to realize that what they initially believed to be shame was, in fact, an ocean of grief and sorrow that was never allowed to surface.

The emotions of shame that appear after trauma often push survivors into isolation. In their attempts to shield themselves from judgment or misunderstanding, they often retreat inward, avoiding connection with others. This withdrawal creates a barrier between them and the support they need. As they isolate, their emotions become more difficult to express, increasing feelings of embarrassment or the belief that they are unworthy of understanding. The deeper they retreat, the greater their shame becomes.

One thing is clear—the longer shame goes unaddressed, the more it festers, and the greater the emotional and mental toll it takes, often manifesting in depression, anxiety, or self-sabotage.

Let’s pause and reflect on shame for a moment. Here are some of the types of shame commonly seen, particularly in the context of trauma.

Internalized Shame: Occurs when a person internalizes negative feelings about themselves, often due to experiences of failure, rejection, or trauma.

Effect— It manifests as a pervasive feeling of being fundamentally flawed, unworthy, or “not enough”, leading to feelings of inferiority or self-loathing.

• Example: A person who has suffered abuse may feel that the abuse was their fault, causing them to feel deeply ashamed of their own actions or even existence.

Public or Social Shame: This type of shame stems from feeling exposed or judged by others, often in social or public settings.

Effect—It can lead to fear of being rejected, ridiculed, or ostracized. People may avoid social interactions or withdraw entirely to protect themselves from judgment.

• Example: Someone who has been humiliated in front of others may carry that shame with them, feeling like they are constantly under scrutiny by others.

Shame from Secrets or Concealment: When a person feels ashamed about something they feel they need to hide, such as trauma, mental health struggles, or past mistakes.

Effect—It creates a sense of isolation as the individual feels they cannot share their true self or their experiences with others without judgment.

• Example: A person hiding a mental health condition out of fear that others will think less of them will experience ongoing shame and internal conflict.

Generational or Collective Shame: This type of shame is passed down through generations or within groups, often related to cultural or societal history, collective trauma, or inherited family patterns.

Effect—It may create feelings of collective responsibility for actions or ex[experiences, even if they are not directly connected to the individual.

• Example: A family that has experienced systemic oppression may pass down feelings of shame about their identity or their position in society, even if individual members had no direct involvement in the trauma.

Shame of Non-Compliance (Moral or Societal Expectations): Shame that arises when someone fails to meet the moral, cultural, or social standards expected of them.

Effect—This can create a sense of being “less than” or inferior to others who seemingly meet societal expectations or norms.

• Example: Someone faced with poverty or made decisions that others view as “wrong” may feel shame for not living up to conventional moral or societal standards.

Survivors Guilt and Shame: This form arises from having survived a traumatic event when others did not, leading the person to question why they survived while others didn’t.

Effect—It may lead to feelings of unworthiness or guilt for having survived, sometimes manifesting in self-punishment or overcompensating to “make up” for survival.

• Example: A person who survived an accident in which others died may experience survivors guilt, feeling ashamed that they lived when others did not.

Body Shame: This is tied to negative feelings about one’s body image and appearance, often exacerbated by societal standards of beauty or the effects of trauma.

Effect— It can lead to low self-esteem, disconnection from one’s body, and avoidance of social or physical activities.

• Example: Someone who has been the victim of sexual abuse may feel deep shame about their body or appearance, even if their body wasn’t to blame for the trauma.

Shame as Self-Punishment: Some use shame as a way of punishing themselves for perceived mistakes or perceived moral shortcomings.

Effect— It leads to self-sabotage, where individuals feel they must atone for their behavior or past actions by continually carrying shame.

• Example: A person may constantly berate themselves for a past mistake, believing they are undeserving of happiness or success.

Chronic Shame: This form is pervasive and ongoing. The individual feels a constant sense of being ‘“not enough” and is unable to shake the feeling.

Effect— It can become part of their identity, leading to long-term mental health challenges like depression and anxiety.

• Example: Someone who faced lifelong neglect may feel chronically shameful, believing they do not deserve care, love, or success.

Shame of Identity: A feeling of shame of who they are, whether because of their race, gender, sexuality, or other parts of their identity that may be viewed negatively by others.

Effects—This can lead to internalized oppression, where the individual feels inferior because of parts of their identity that they cannot change.

• Example: Someone in the LGBTQ+ community may feel shame about their sexual orientation if they’ve grown up in an environment that condemns such identities.

Existential Shame: This form arises from an internal sense of existential failure, often related to questions of self-worth, purpose, and meaning in life.

Effect—It can lead to a lack of purpose, depression, and an overwhelming sense of emptiness.

• Example: Someone who feels they haven’t lived up to their potential, or who questions their value in the world.

I feel we now have a verification of trauma and shame—as well as a distinct view of how shame and vulnerability can manifest within a person and life post a trauma event.

When trauma occurs— vulnerability is not far to be found. The deafening silence post a traumatic, and shameful incident, forces individuals into an unconscious acceptance of their lesser selves. It scours them raw and feeling vulnerable. Vulnerability then becomes both the lock—and the key—-keeping us trapped, yet is also the only way out.

Trauma is not just a moment. Its a conditioning. Trauma creates a cycle of shame. This emotional weight feels inescapable as if the person is locked into a self-perpetuating cycle of pain. Made worse by societal expectations, maybe even family, or community expectations, where vulnerability is misinterpreted as weakness. Here, people feel caught between keeping their trauma hidden because society says they are unworthy of being seen, heard validated, or exposing their wounds, which can make them feel even more vulnerable.

People can live decades feeling small, unseen, and undeserving of more. The repetition of shame—passed down, accepted, and seldom challenged—the eternal abyss which opens there. Where doubts, frustrations, and resistance from others evolve and spin into secondary paths.

Let’s flip the script on vulnerability. While it might seem daunting and open us to fear of rejection, vulnerability also holds the key to our healing. It’s not a sign of weakness but a courageous act that invites us to break free from the walls we’ve built to protect ourselves from pain. In facing our fears, we unlock the possibility of growth and connection, offering a fresh path to healing that we might never have imagined.

Healing doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. Healing comes from acknowledging our struggles and learning to accept them. This is where vulnerability becomes the strength—the tool that helps us reclaim our power.

People often feel trapped by trauma…I’d like to guide you into how to utilize your vulnerability into a tool fashioned to break free from the pain associated with trauma.

There’s a certain strength in vulnerability. When we allow ourselves to be seen—raw, unguarded, and imperfect—we not only validate our own humanity, but we invite others to do the same. It’s in the shared space of vulnerability that connections are born, and healing begins. The weight of trauma may feel unbearable, but when we face it, share it, and acknowledge it, we free ourselves from its grasp.

Vulnerability doesn’t make us weaker. It doesn’t define us by our pain. Instead, it illuminates the path to reclaiming ourselves. It’s the courage to show up despite the fear, to speak out even when the silence feels safer. Through vulnerability, we transform. Our words become wisdom. Our struggle becomes strength. Our shame becomes power.

In order to heal from trauma…in order to heal from pain, in order to heal from shame…one must confront it, acknowledge it, and release it. The journey to healing begins when we allow ourselves to confront the shame we’ve carried for so long. It requires us to challenge the beliefs that trauma has instilled in us—that we are unworthy, broken, or undeserving. Confronting shame isn’t easy, but it is the first step toward breaking free from the cycle of trauma. It involves embracing vulnerability, recognizing that we are worthy of compassion and healing, and taking the courageous step of sharing our story without the burden of shame.

Vulnerability is often viewed with suspicion as if exposing our true selves will invite rejection or ridicule. But vulnerability is actually a courageous act of self-love. It is the raw honesty of facing your pain without hiding behind walls. Only through vulnerability can we begin to unravel the tightly woven threads of shame and trauma, allowing us to reclaim our power.

Allowing vulnerability, in turn, allows the healing to begin. It opens the door to our darkest selves to be seen This allows the light of compassion, connection, and understanding to shine through. It allows us to stop pretending everything is fine, and admit we are wounded and deserve to heal. It is how we confront what hurts with courage and start to mend it, piece by piece

In opening up and sharing your trauma, your pain, your shame, you are opening doors to connection with others. That connection can be a source of immense strength. This act of vulnerability creates the ability for others to offer support, validation, and shared healing.

In sharing stories we are not only allowing others into our pain, but into our growth. Through vulnerability, we find we’re not alone in our struggles. Others who have experienced similar wounds will often step forward sharing their stories too. This act of being vulnerable invites others to be so as well, creating a circle of strength, empathy, and healing.  Speaking out about your trauma can be one of the hardest steps you ever take, but it’s one of the most freeing. By sharing your trauma, pain, and shame, it loses its power over you.

One of the first steps to climbing out of the abyss is breaking the silence. For so long, trauma keeps us in a place of isolation, convincing us that our pain is greater than others can bear or understand. But, once we begin to speak about it, we begin to loosen the hold it has over us…shifting its influence. The very act of speaking out is an act of defiance against the darkness that once consumed us.

Whether you reach out to a trusted friend—a therapist—or perhaps through a support group setting…perhaps even within merely journaling your experience and/or emotions—you take away the power trauma holds over you. You have now gained the ability to rewrite your narrative. No longer are you just a victim of trauma; you are a warrior who survived. Each time you express your vulnerability, you add another layer to your resilience, allowing you to reclaim your story. Not your story defined by pain, but as one shaped by your strength, your courage, and your growth. You redefine yourself, and in doing so, redefine the world you interact with.

Often, you find that you are now able to show yourself compassion— by showing the same empathy you have extended to others, allowing your wounds to heal with love. So vulnerability is not just about letting others in; it’s also about allowing yourself to be seen. It’s about looking in the mirror and acknowledging you are worthy of healing, and love—even in your brokenness.

Embracing vulnerability and accepting our own imperfections is one of the most profound acts of self-love. When we open ourselves to vulnerability, we soften the harsh inner voice that tells us we are unworthy. Through this act of self-compassion, we become our own healers, nurturing ourselves back to wholeness.

Vulnerability is a transformative and empowering force. I encourage you to embrace All of who you are within Vulnerability. Rise from the abyss where trauma, pain, and shame have once isolated you. In embracing vulnerability, we open ourselves to the light of healing, the courage to rise, and the strength to become our fullest versions of ourselves. Trauma, pain, and shame do not define who we are—they are merely parts of our story, not the whole. As we allow ourselves to be seen, raw and real, we unlock the key to true freedom.

The road ahead may not always be easy, but remember, you are not alone. Each step you take towards healing is a step to reclaiming your true self, a self filled with grace, resilience, and profound beauty. Your vulnerability is your power. Your journey is your own, and you are worthy of healing.

So, let us rise together. Let us walk this journey with courage, compassion, and open hearts, knowing that with every breath, we are one step closer to the peace and wholeness we seek.

“In our vulnerability, we find our strength.”— Brene’ Brown

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”—2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV)

Love Light Grace… and in Vulnerability,

Tina