Scribed In Light

When the words “Early Onset Alzheimer’s” were first spoken to me, it felt as though the world had stopped spinning. I sat frozen, unable to comprehend the sheer weight of those three words. My eyes slowly reached across the distance onto my husband, sitting beside me, and I felt the space between us widen, and grow cold. The chill of those three simple words had already taken their bite. The sting of it hit me like a slap across my heart and spirit.

My mind, my memories, my identity—everything I had ever worked to create around me—suddenly felt like it was all slipping through my fingers. I hung there, in the quiet stillness—hearing their voices through the veil, adrift like fragile, weightless ash— disintegrating and vanishing into the cruel, chaotic winds that swept in and carried me off into darkness.

But as the shock began to settle, I knew one thing with every fiber of my being: I couldn’t just give up—not like this. I had options. I had a choice to make. Sit in despair—or rise and fight with every morsel of Faith and Hope I could muster.

And fight, I did.

The journey wasn’t linear. There were days of heartbreak, frustration, and crying until I couldn’t breathe. But I wasn’t going down without fighting to remain with those I cherished and to hold fast to all the blessings bestowed upon me. I dove headfirst into research, scouring medical journals, holistic resources, and stories of others who had faced similar challenges. I turned to faith, prayer, and the unwavering belief that there had to be a way to reclaim my life.

Oh, how my Faith became the knot at the end of my frail rope. I shifted my core focus to spirit and held fast to God’s words and promises…breathing every new breath filled with Faith unseen.

I took notes….Oh, so many notes. They hung all about my house like a ticker tape parade. Reminders of new diet changes; physical exercise nudges; brain-optimizing tasks; and de-stressing techniques. I made swift and radical changes to overhaul my diet and lifestyle. I began a diet, free of gluten, sugar, dairy, and meats excluding wild-caught fish. My routines were etched and rooted in mindfulness and movement; and a heart filled with hope, even when doubt crept in.

I would listen to my team of doctors, even at times, family…and nod my head respectfully. Yet at my core, I persevered to my greater shift—a hope and Faith for healing and restoration through better choices and hard work. All in an attempt to steer out of what they were suggesting was my new normal and into restoration. Even perhaps a life better than what it had been before my diagnosis.

It wasn’t just about surviving. It was about thriving. It became my mission to reclaim the moments that this diagnosis had tried to steal from me. The dignity robbed within relentless humility. The security and intimacy wrenched from my relationships. Oh, how the list goes on…layers, upon layers of pitiless, impartial indignities.

I locked into my inner spirit and held fast to reclaimed hope. I rejected outward claims and focused upon the resilience of Step by step, prayer for prayer, and choice by choice until I began to feel something I thought I had lost—Myself.

Today, I sit here, writing this not as a victim of Early-onset Alzheimer’s, but as a fighter. As someone who found light in the darkness and proved to herself that even the heaviest of storms can and indeed will pass. It requires a positive attitude, spirit focus, committed response to faith, and diligence to stay the course, in a chaos-filled world.

If you’re reading this, and amid your own storm, I want you to know there is always hope. Even in the face of the unimaginable, there is always a step forward, a reason to keep going, and a way to rise.

Shake off your shock and awe; anguish and despair. Take a deep cleansing breath of positive hope, and blow out the negative energy. Rise in faith and begin your journey into restoration—possibly even gaining a better form of you, than before your diagnosis. Remember that God’s promises are bigger than any diagnosis. When we walk in steps of unseen faith, the heaviest storms bow to God’s light. Strength does not come from what we can do, but from what God can do through us.

Because if I can do it, so can you.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Psalm 46 1-3 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.

2 Corinthians 4:16-17 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

James 1:12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.